You've been reading Perthro wrong. Not because you're stupid. Because you were taught by people who were comfortable with easy answers.
It is not the card you want. It is the card you need. The Tower is not drama. It is infrastructure collapsing to reveal what was already broken.
The deactivation cycle explained. What happens neurologically when they pull away, and why the return is not what you think it is.
You are not cold. You are processing at a depth most people cannot access, and then translating it into a language they can handle.
Why you pick the same person in different bodies. Freud called it repetition compulsion. Tarot calls it The Devil. Same pattern.
Ariel does not comfort. Ariel confronts. The message is not 'you are worthy.' The message is 'you know you are worthy, so why are you still here?'
You are not transcending your pain. You are sidestepping it with a vocabulary that makes the sidestep look sacred.